I'm on Atari

Wow these last few weeks I have really been slacking on the blog posts!  I guess I have been more busy than I thought I would be.

Here's what I've been up to:

Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce
Hmm okay, this book was just okay for me.  I really could not like Scarlett.  She was absolutely one minded in the killing of the wolves.  So much so that she was mean to her sister when she didn't do what she wanted.  It was annoying.  I liked what she did with the spin on Little Red Riding Hood and the werewolf myths.
Oh, also I didn't really like the changing viewpoints because Rosie always had something different to say, while Scarlett just talked about how she wanted to hunt wolves.

The Dickens with Love by Josh Lanyon
Short story that was free on the Kindle.  A cute little Christmas story about a newly discovered Dickens novel and a newly discovered relationship.  I really liked Sedgwick Crisparkle and James Winter.

Dragonfly in Amber by Diana Gabaldon
This is the book I am currently reading.  OMG this sucker is HUGE!!
I think I've been reading it since Monday and I am only 200 pages in.  I think it's around 700. ugh.  Don't get me wrong, I really like it so far, although it was a bit tough to get into in the beginning because, the storytelling is done by Roger at first.  I have to say that as of right now, I really could care less about Roger.  I want to read about Jamie and Claire DAMMIT!!  Anywho, I got my wish  :D yay!  But I know the viewpoint is going to change again, but now that I've got my Jamie fix, I think I'll be okay to hear anyone else's view point.









That's it!  That's all I've got to sum up my week  :(

Paper Town for a Paper Girl

Paper Towns
By John Green


Quentin Jacobsen has spent a lifetime loving the magnificently adventurous Margo Roth Spiegelman from afar.  So when she cracks open a window and climbs back into his life- dressed like a ninja and summoning him for an ingenious campaign of revenge-he follows.


After their all-nighter ends and a new day break, Q arrives at school to discover that Margo, always an enigma, has now become a mystery.  But Q soon learns that there are clues-and they're for him.  Urged down a disconnected path, the closer he gets, the less Q sees the girl he thought he knew





Funny how you always think u will have something to say and then when you sit down to write a "review" your mind goes blank and the only thing you can think of to write is ; "yeah, I liked the book."
So please forgive my writing block as I plod through my thoughts.


John Green has got to be one of my favorite new authors. His characters are always quirky and likable and Paper Towns is no different.
In this book we meet Q.  A smart "well adjusted" (both his parents are therapists ha!) high school kid.  Q is not all that popular and really only has two friends.  His friends were hilarious, especially the after prom party and the beer sword.
 However, the whole story of finding clues and trying to find Margo kind of got tiring.  I mean, yes all the connections to books, and the human condition and peoples opinions of how we see each other etc etc was intriguing and all but Q, with his mindless obsession (just like Capt. Ahab) of finding Margo and being upset when his friends didn't want to do the same made me frustrated with Q.

Now, I am not saying that I didn't enjoy the book, because I really did. I liked the quirky Margo and all of the poems, music, and authors that Green usually throws into his books to make connections.  That being said, I felt like I was reading Looking For Alaska all over again, minus the famous last words that Pudge memorized.

So, while I enjoyed reading Paper Towns, I felt that Looking For Alaska was far superior to this book.  Who knows what I would have thought if I read Paper Towns first haha!



Oh my gosh, that was torturous trying to write this out.  I think I need a nap  :-/

Outlander

Kindle had this book for free a few weeks ago.  It wasn't something I would normally think that I would like being a historical romance and all that.  But a friend on goodreads gushed and gushed about this book so I finally got around to reading it.

Oh my gosh. Once I started reading I could-not-stop

Outlander
By: Diana Gabaldon


The year is 1945. Claire Randall, a former combat nurse, is back from the war and reunited with her husband on a second honeymoon--when she walks through a standing stone in one of the ancient stone circles that dot the British Isles. Suddenly she is a Sassenach--an "outlander"--in a Scotland torn by war and raiding Highland clans in the year of Our Lord...1743. 

Hurled back in time by forces she cannot understand, Claire is catapulted into intrigues and dangers that may threaten her life...and shatter her heart. For here she meets James Fraser, a gallant young Scots warrior, and becomes a woman torn between fidelity and desire...and between two vastly different men in two irreconcilable lives.










This book has a little bit of everything.  Time travel, sword fights, kilts, romance, chamber pots (HAHA) prison break-ins, witch burnings, murder, political power moves, etc etc oh and JAMIE  *swoon*

Now I usually don't swoon about the men in books.  It's just not my thing.  But Jamie has got to be the most honorable, understanding, loving, and intriguing redheads I've ever ever read about. I wish my husband had a Scottish accent... Oh, and I loved Claire too.  She was funny, caring, understanding, and sometimes belligerent.

There are lots of deep issues in this book too, and some really heartbreaking scenes.  Some parts dragged, I mean it is an 850 page book after all!  But I can safely say that I loved every second of this book!  Ok well not 'loved' exactly.  Some parts were really tough to read, especially the parts with the villain of the book Jack Randall.  I really hate him!

As I'm typing this, I'm sitting here wondering what Claire and Jamie are doing, and that's how I know when I've read a good book.  I'm itching to run out the the library and grab the second book in the series but I must restrain myself!  I still haven't finished the books I took from there last time.  :::sigh::  Maybe I'll just start reading the book over again.  *grins*




BTW I hate the cover.  It's what made me NOT want to read the book.  The awful awful cover.  However I will take this cover over a cheesy picture of a sweaty muscled man in a kilt with his hair blowing in the nonexistent wind and some girl in a dress in the background. UGH

Slacky Slackerton

Oh. My. Gosh.  Has it really been a whole week since I last posted?  Where has the time gone?!  Ooh that's right it was Halloween!

Would you believe that I have actually been reading a book since last Wednesday?  Yes, it actually took me a whole freakin' week to finish this book.  Gimmie a break it was over 500 pages!  Do you know the last time I read a book that long?  I'd say Crank but that doesn't count since it was done all poetry like.  Next, I would say Clockwork Angel, but I figure that doesn't count either since the font is pretty huge.  Hmmm...Ah yes I remember now.  It was Blood Tears by Raven Dane.  599 pages.  All the way back in July.  Phew!

Anyway, that is neither here nor there.  The book I just finished, that I know you are all dying to know about, was A Time to Kill by John Grisham.
 BTW holy crap this book was written a long time ago. It was published in 1989.
 I most definitely did not buy one of the new prints that are coming out that charge an obscene amount for a taller, bulkier book UGH!  Stupid reprints.  Who cares if it's got a more up to date cover on it?  I happen to very much enjoy the marble background, and the odd man tied to the pillar!

I was too lazy to take a picture of my book that I have so I got this picture from google.  The special person who took this picture is actually selling their copy of A Time to Kill for a generous $100.  If you are especially interested you can check out this amazing deal HERE!

Am I missing something?  One hundred dollars?  I got my copy for fifty cents!  I think I'll sell my book for $200!!!  \o/......Nah


So, John Grisham.  I read the Pelican Brief a few years ago.  I think I liked it.  I can't really remember.  I know that I most certainly did not enjoy the stupid movie with Denzel Washington and what's her face with the teeth and curlyish hair that everyone loves.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I fell asleep.

As for A Time to Kill, I think it was Grisham's first novel.

Clanton, Mississippi.  The life of a ten-year-old girl is shattered by two drunken and remorseless young men.  The mostly white town reacts with shock and horror at the inhumane crime.  Until her black father acquires and assault rifle-and takes justice into his own outraged hands.


For ten days, as burning crosses and the crack of sniper fire spread through the streets of Clanton, the nation sits spellbound as young defense attorney Jake Brigance struggles to save his client's life...and then his own...

The beginning of this book is not for the feint of heart.  It's gruesome, sickening and heart wrenching. Also, if racist words/actions are bothersome to you, then this book is probably not for you either.  This book deals with a lot of racism.  I mean A LOT.  I don't really want to get into the moral implications in the book, but it certainly does give you many things to think about while you read it.

Lots of bad things happen in this book.  Cross burnings, riots, murders, intimidation, death threats, beatings, shootings, threatening phone calls, and one big huge trial.  It takes over 300 pages to get to the actual trial, so you can just imagine all the crazy stuff that happens in-between.  Is it wrong of me to say that I enjoyed every second of this book?   So many bad, horrible things happen, that it's actually quite disheartening.  And I am almost positive that John Grisham has something against smart women and am pretty disappointed with how he left things with the one smart, non-racist woman in the book.

Wow, this review sucks.  I'll get on with it and say that I enjoyed this book, and it's characters.  There were many moments when I was actually giggling which is odd, when you think about how depressing this book is at times.

I'll be watching the movie soon, I hope they didn't butcher it to bad!

I'm off to go read Real Murders by Charlaine Harris.  Hopefully it doesn't take me another week to read it  *crosses fingers*





*ok I lied, I am not going to read Real Murders.  I am going to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer because I just figured out that I can stream it from netflix on to the Playstation.  I've seen a few episodes before but I am starting at the beginning.  I must say, I love all the cheesy lines!  It's funny how young all the characters look!    Grr! Arg!

I go to seek a Great Perhaps

I did it.  I finished a book!  Finally!  \o/  And I didn't even cheat by skipping ahead in the alphabet!  I stayed at G  and now I shall pat myself on the back  *pats*


Looking For Alaska
By: John Green

I started reading this book not really expecting much.  I mean, I'm in the middle of a book slump/I-don't-want-to-read-anything-at-all crisis after all, so I wasn't really all that excited to read this. And no, I did not know that this was an award winning book, and no, I have never heard anything about this book until I saw it for like 2 dollars on the Barnes and Noble bargain shelf on their website.  You can't pass up a deal like that!

The book starts out with Miles' parents throwing him a going away party.  Except it isn't much of a party and Miles knows that no one is going to show up.  It's one of the main reasons that he's decided that he wants to go to the Culver Creek Boarding School that his dad also went to.  The other reason is this; as a lover and collector of peoples last words before they die, Miles has come upon this one by Francois Rabelais, "I go to seek a Great Perhaps."  And that's what Miles wants. A Great Perhaps.  A great something that he can only find by being in someplace completely different, where no one knows him.
At the boarding school Miles quickly befriends his roommate who nickname is The Colonel.  The Colonel introduces him to Talkumi, Lara, and Alaska and Miles' life changes forever.
We follow Miles as he talks about his new life at school, the personalities of his new friends, his opinions on certain classes, planning pranks, and love. Centered around all of this is the ever interesting, always mysterious and sometimes moody Alaska Young.

Split into two parts, before, counting down from one hundred thirty six days, and after, readers know that something big and perhaps life changing is going to happen.  When it does happen, characters are left to deal with the aftermath.  Can they forgive themselves? Could it have been prevented?
And behind all of this is Miles' religion class which he uses to try to answer some of life's biggest questions along with the help of his famous last words.  Green handles all these situations like a pro without ever becoming preachy or over philosophical.

Yes YES!  Read this book.  It is truly a wonderful book and I really, really enjoyed it.  I loved Miles' voice, and I loved the crazy and impulsive Alaska, and I loved the ridiculously short but uncompromisingly loyal Colonel.


THE END.                                                                              

The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride
by: William Goldman

 What happens when the most beautiful girl in the world marries the handsomest prince of all time and he turns out to be...well...a lot less than the man of her dreams? 

As a boy, William Goldman claims, he loved to hear his father read the S. Morgenstern classic, The Princess Bride. But as a grown-up he discovered that the boring parts were left out of good old Dad's recitation, and only the "good parts" reached his ears. 

Now Goldman does Dad one better. He's reconstructed the "Good Parts Version" to delight wise kids and wide-eyed grownups everywhere. 

What's it about? Fencing. Fighting. True Love. Strong Hate. Harsh Revenge. A Few Giants. Lots of Bad Men. Lots of Good Men. Five or Six Beautiful Women. Beasties Monstrous and Gentle. Some Swell Escapes and Captures. Death, Lies, Truth, Miracles, and a Little Sex. 

In short, it's about everything. 

Dude.  I loved this book.  This book goes up on my favorite books of all time shelf.  And yeah, I'm sure that you can tell from my previous posts about books that it takes a lot to make it up there.  What I really love about this book is that it is a stand alone.  You don't see many of those these days, especially when you get into the fantasy genre.  Add to that, the fact that this book was written in the 70's and you've got something special on your hands.  This book really does have everything, romance, sword fighting, giants, death, revenge, miracles, and true love.

Ok and yes, I admit it, Goldman really had me thinking that there was an actual S. Morgenstern and that he really was telling the abridged version of the tale.  Through out the book Goldman interrupts/inputs mini stories about things that he skipped in his abridged version including princess training for Buttercup, wedding preparations etc. Actually before the story even begins there is 36 pages of Goldman describing how he came to write the "abridged" version and all his legal troubles involved with it. It was cute and funny, but at the same time, I could have done without the interruptions I was so engrossed in the story that I just wanted to read!  It's fascinating at the same time because really this story is two stories in one. Goldmans fake life and then him telling the abridged Princess Bride.  Madness I tell you!

Now, I had seen the movie years ago so unfortunately when I was reading the book I pictured the movie characters in my head as I was reading.  I was even doing the accents lol.
Basically I loved everything about this book.  I loved the background information on the characters and the humor and well, I know I said it already but....everything!  Actually I didn't really like Buttercup.  Goldman makes her seem extremely cruel at times and stupid as well.

Aaaannd since I watched the movie yesterday I can tell you that I still enjoyed it.  Some scenes were even taken word for word from the book, which I loved.  Of course, Goldman did write the screenplay for the movie so that's probably why it wasn't completely butchered.
The movie starts with a grandfather reading the book to his sick grandson and similar to the book there are some interruptions while the action is going on.  Like the child telling his grandfather that he read part of the book wrong.  It's cute yes, but annoying because they always did this at the good parts!









Anyways I seem to have blabbered on and not really said anything so I shall tell you this...

Read the book!  It will be good for your health!

Thief With No Shadow

Yesterday I started reading Thief With No Shadow by Emily Gee.  I've had this book sitting on my shelf for I don't know how long!  I swear when I pulled the book off the shelf I heard it give a squeal of joy.

Aided by the magic which courses through her veins, Melke is able to walk unseen by mortal eyes.  When a necklace she has stolen holds the key to both saving her brother's life and breaking a terrible curse, she must steal it back from the den of fire-breathing salamanders.  Things are about to get very tough for Melke, especially when she comes to realise she may have to trust the very people who were out to kill her.

Ok so I admit, I look on goodreads and amazon and I read all the negative reviews about books. Don't ask me why I just do.  Anyways there were numerous reviews that were not so favorable to this book and I really thought I wouldn't like it.  So I started reading the book and really really thought I wasn't going to like it.  I mean, within the first 3 chapters the characters shivered like 10 times.  She shivered, he shivered, everybody effing shivered!!  But I kept reading!  I liked the character Melke.

Melke stole a necklace to save her brother from the oddly scary fire breathing salamanders  (haha can you imagine a fire breathing salamander?  I'm giggling just thinking about it).  Here's the kicker, the guy (Bastian) she stole the necklace from is also under a curse and he needs the necklace back to save his family.   Bastian is furious that Melke stole the necklace from him and he's got nothing but blind hatred for her now. He makes Melke a deal, he will take Melke and her brother back to his house so that Bastian's sister can heal Melke's brother, and in return Melke must steal the necklace back from the salamanders den.  Hmm did that make sense?

Most of the book takes place at Bastian's house.  His sister is a healer and spends most of her time healing Melke's brother.  Yeah.  That's pretty much all that happens.  Bastian thinks about how much he hates Melke.  Melke gets to know Bastian's sister.  Bastian is mean to Melke.  Brother gets better. Wow.  It goes on like this for more than half of the book.  And yet I was strangly interested.  I enjoyed getting to know the back stories of the characters.  I enjoyed watching Bastian and Melke try to deal with each other and their acceptance of each other.
Then something exciting happens!  Things get more urgent.  I can't give you all the details (unless you really want me to!) because it would spoil the story but let's just say that I was kind of surprised that if one of the characters had made a different choice early on( i.e. before Melke stole the necklace), none of the events that happened would have ever needed to take place.  I mean, it was kind of a slap in the face to the character who was stupid enough not to realize what he or she could have done in the first place.
But alas he/she was stupid.

Back to the bad reviews...I can see where they would come from.  Lots of thoughts are repeated in the heads of the characters, slow moving story, Bastian kind of gets tiresome with his hate rants, and after the big climax of the story it sort of goes right back to where we started.  Slow moving and lots of thoughts from characters.  But dammit I liked it! This just goes to show that I shouldn't believe all the negative reviews....but it's not going to stop me from reading them!  hehe!

I need drawing lessons...

And hello to all my new followers!  

Stardust

I've come to a conclusion. ..

The conclusion is this: I pretty much despise reading Neil Gaiman books. (Unless it's his Sandman comic books) I've read Neverwhere, Stardust, Coraline, Good Omens (which I'm not sure if I should count because it was written with Terry Pratchet), and I quit reading American Gods.  All of these books, minus Coraline were so boring.  Gaimans' characters are all cardboard cut outs of each other.  I just finished reading Stardust and I can't even remember any of the characters names.  My left finger has more personality than these poor excuses for characters!  OH and I hate how all his characters just take everything in stride.

 " What? My wife just died and you want me to work for you Mr. Wednesday?  Okay!"
Or
" Gee for some reason I know all the paths through Faerie even though I've never been here before"
How about this one?
"Yeah this old lady is trying to take my heart out while I'm still alive so that she can become young again. I think I'll give her a kiss on the cheek."
Come on Gaiman!  Give your characters some emotions! People don't react like this!

So, let's talk about Stardust:

Young Tristran Thorn will do anything to win the cold heart of beautiful Victoria- even fetch her the star they watch fall from the night sky.  But to do so, he must enter the unexplored lands on the other side of the ancient wall that gives their tiny village its name.  Beyond that old stone wall, Tristran learns, lies Faerie- where nothing, not even a fallen star , is what he imagined.



Stardust was a short enough book. (Thankfully!)  But like I said, all Gaimens' characters are just sort of there, having stuff happen to them.  I liked some of the story lines of the book, and think they could have been better than what they were.  Actually, now that I think about it, Stardust could totally have been a short story fairy tale like..... Hansel and Gretle!

Bleh!  Sorry Gaimen but I think you should stick to the comic books!



Here's something I never thought I would say.  I liked Stardust the movie a million times more than I liked the book.

The END

Updates & Coraline

Oh it's Monday again... Hurrah!  Unfortunately I was busy so I was unable to watch much football  :(  I did however keep track of scores on my phone.  Ok so Steelers go to 3-0 after defeating Tampa Bay woot!



"Here's lookin' at you kid"

I do have some bad news to report.  Vikings beat the Lions ( damn!)  I suppose I would be more disappointed except that the Lions are, by all accounts the worst team in the league.  I mean, I'm pretty sure they haven't won a game since last November.  So good job Vikings!  You finally won a game!  But don't that win go to your head because you still suck  :D


The Packers play tonight on Monday Night Football so I'm excited for that eeeeee!

Moving on.....I gave up on American Gods.   That's right GAVE UP!   Maybe I'll go back to it if I ever study up on Norse Gods and Odin.  This of course means that I will never study up and I will never go back to the book.
So, I read Coraline.  And yes, I actually did finish it. haha.

Has anyone seen the movie?  It's actually quite close to the book except the movie added the character Wybie --> Bleh!

Coraline is an adventurer! Well, she sort of has to be.  Even though her parents both work from home, they don't have a lot of time for  her.  So Coraline is usually left up to her own devices.  Counting doors, windows and visiting the odd neighbors.  Then, Coraline finds a small door that use to open up to a brick wall but now leads down a dark tunnel.  As she makes her way through, she discovers she's back in her own house...only not.  Coraline's mother, or should we say, other mother (she's got strange button eyes, is taller, thinner, and her fingers are too long) is there telling her she's been waiting for Coraline and that she never wants to let Coraline go.  And so begins an adventure for Coraline thats going to take all her wits and courage if she wants to save herself and return to her ordinary life.


I must say that this book is kinda freaky.  I mean the other mother, in the other house and everybody on the other side, have button eyes.  BUTTON EYES.  Do you know how scary that would be to see someone with button eyes?  How do you get buttons to stay where they are?  That's right, they are sewn on.  Which means the other mother has sewn on button eyes.  Uh...gross?

Coraline is suppose to be a children's book, but it kept my interest throughout the story.  It's an adventure/horror story I guess.  Gaimen does a great job of describing things just enough for you to get a good picture in your head of what he's describing without being too overbearing.  After you read this story you might think that button eyes are a bad thing...but my cat Onyx doesn't seem to mind them!
See how happy he is?

Coraline was an enjoyable enough book.  I mean, I liked it...or maybe it's because it was so short?  Anyways if you've got time to spare you should definitely check it out...or if you're lazy, watch the movie!

If you want a picture of yourself with your very own button eyes check out the movie's website HERE.  Lots of fun!

American Snooze

I've been trying to read Neil Gaimen's American Gods book.  I started it last week Thursday, and today I'm only on page 173. (588 pages in total)  I suppose this book would be a lot more interesting if I knew the history and stories of all the different gods that they have in this book but....I don't.  So far this book is just one bumbling mess of confusion and me not caring about the extremely boring main character, Shadow.  It's also really bugging me that Shadow just takes everything in stride.  He doesn't question anything, doesn't get freaked out about anything, I suppose he is just like his name....a shadow, like he doesn't matter at all.

 I'm debating if I should finish this book.  There are so many good reviews about it that I almost feel like I'd be wrong to not finish it.  Except that every time I open this book and I get real sleepy and end up like this: passed out with a granola bar in my lap hahah!

Maybe I'll skip to the other Gaiman books I have ( Coraline and Stardust)  then come back to this one.  At the pace I'm going reading it I might not finish it till next month!

Anyone else read this book?  Is it worth it to keep going??

The Spider's Bride

I'm not sure how to start this review.  The Spider's Bride by Debbie Gallagher is one crazy, confusing ride. Here's the premise from the back of the book:

 




Not realizing she is being courted by a faery suitor, The Bride enters the cold and sparkling world of the Prince of Spiders.  She takes his gift of a severed finger, unaware that such gifts carry consequences - and finds herself trapped.
   Until now, the Prince has delayed his preordained death by offering the blood of artists and poets to the ancient spirits of the land.  But with the coming of The Bride, he as a more daring plan in his heart...


________________________________________________________


When I started reading this book I was so confused.  You literally get thrown into this crazy world without so much as a warning.  This is not your ordinary faery story.  The faeries are not nice, they are scary and a tad insane. And don't let the word faerie fool you into thinking they are these beautiful creatures with wings and pointy ears and beautiful hair because they're not! Ok well, some of them are, but the majority aren't!!   The Prince of Spiders? Yeah he's an actual spider, who talks...which is creepy as hell if you think about it. There's also talking grasshoppers, living dolls, moths, human servants who run and bark like dogs and lots of other disturbing characters.  If you haven't read any stores about faeries and their rules you should brush up on them because they are in this story in a big way and the book gives little to no background information about them.

The book is told from several points of view and one of the most confusing narratives comes from the character named Richard Dadd. Here is some information I wish I would have had before reading this book.  It kind of helped clear things up for me to get a grip on the story better.  The character Richard is actually based on real life artist Richard Dadd who lived from 1817-1886.  In real life Richard excelled at "fairy paintings."

The painting on the right is called Puck and was one of his three major fairy paintings done in 1841. (click on the picture to see it bigger)






In 1842 Dadd painted "Come Unto These Yellow Sands"

This site explains the painting in more detail.  "Come Unto These Yellow Sands" is mentioned a lot in the book a long with another painting called Crazy Jane.

Anyways, what Dadd best known for is going crazy and killing his father and then getting sent to the loony bin where he continued painting.
So in the book we get a look at crazy Richard's point of view.  This Richard though, has pretty much been crazy his whole life and we get a glimpse into his chaotic point of view.  Although the book is pretty chaotic in itself.  *shrugs*

Here is one thing that really bothered me for some reason.  I could not figure out the size of characters.  Were they the size of insects?  Human size? Rodent size?  Doll size?  ( the word size looks really weird to me now haha)

Did I like this book?  At first, no. At first all I thought was WTF IS GOING ON?!?!?!?  Then I got into the story a little more and read up on Dadd and understood it a teensy bit more and liked all the odd characters especially the Hunter. Then suddenly I had finished the book.  Now I'm rereading it.  It's most definitely a reread "to catch what you missed and understand it better" type of book so.... I think I liked it? lol

This book is most certainly not for everyone, but it couldn't hurt to try it out!

oh and if you're scared of spiders.....don't look any further down!!  Don't say I didn't warn you!

Stupid Witch

After reading Crank I was ready to get back on my quest of going alphabetically through my bookshelf.  My next author was Yasmine Galenorn and I was pretty excited to start reading Witchling.  I mean, the cover was pretty awesome, how bad could it be?  Uhhh...HORRIBLE?  This book was awful! So awful, I only made it to page 33.  Now some of you might be thinking, "oh you should have given it a chance and at least read to page 50 or 100."  No. Hell. No.  How about an example of how much of a train wreck this book is?

The narrator Camille, who is half witch half human is talking about how unreliable her magic/spells are;

   "Like last month when I tried to turn invisible to avoid being seen by an annoying customer. Things went haywire, and I ended up nekkid.  Not just naked, but leave-nothing-to-the-imagination nekkid."

Why is a grown woman spelling naked that way?  It's cute maybe... once in passing conversation, but not twice within two sentences!  It's especially not cute when you spell naked the correct way and then the stupid way all in the same sentence. WTF.

Oh maybe I should tell you what this book was about hey? 

From Goodreads:

We're the D'Artigo Sisters: Half-human, half-Faerie, we're savvy - and sexy - operatives for the Otherworld Intelligence Agency. But our mixed-blood heritage short-circuits our talents at all the wrong times. My sister Delilah shapeshifts into a tabby cat whenever she's stressed. Menolly's a vampire who's still trying to get the hang of being undead. And me? I'm Camille - a wicked-good witch. Except my magic is as unpredictable as the weather, which my enemies are about to find out the hard way... 

At the Wayfarer Inn, a portal to Otherworld and the local hangout for humans and beasties alike, our fellow operative Jocko's been murdered. Every clue points to Shadow Wing, the soul-munching, bad-ass leader of the Subterranean Realms. He's made it clear that he aims to raze humankind to the ground, turning both Earth and Otherworld into his private playground. Our assignment: keep Shadow Wing and his minions from creeping into Earth via the Wayfarer. The demons figure they're in like Flynn. After all, with only my 'bumbling' sisters and me standing in the way, how can they miss? But we've got a secret for them: faulty wiring or not, nobody kicks ass like the D'Artigo girls

See what I did there?  See how I was all like, "ughh this book is horrible!" and then was like, "So what's this book all about?"  That's exactly what the author did in this book!  Except she did it way less smoothly then I did.  I'm an expert at clunky paragraph changes   :D

:::Sigh::: The writing in the book was boring and horrible and blaaahhhhhh.  I regret buying the second book in the series which is why it has a big red X on its cover of my awesomely photoshopped picture of the two covers.

My recommendation?  Don't read these books.  Read Laurell K Hamilton's Anita Blake series, then STOP at the ninth book Obsidian Butterfly, cause they suck after that, trust me.

Hmm this is a really negative post.  I think I need to go to bed.